Buffy Casablanca Poster poppy wreath  RS

Squee and Self-Pimpage Ahoy!

1) "Untitled" (AU the Gift)" was voted Runner-Up in the Best Drabble category in Round Four of the Absence of Light Awards! THANK YOU to the judges and readers who voted for me, and an extra special THANK YOU to   brutti_ma_buoni and snowpuppies , whose stories provided the inspiration for mine.

The award button for it is really visually disturbing and may be a bit squicky/triggery for some folks (hey, this IS the AoLA we're talking about here) so I'm including it AFTER the cut.  You're welcome.

[You was warned....]

I didn't prepare an acceptance speech because I really did not expect that, at all.  This is not false modesty talking; if I had been a judge in that category I wouldn't have voted for my own story because there were so many fantastic ones to choose from.  The other award winners in the Drabble category include some of the best Buffyverse stories I've come across, each one gorgeous and orignal: "Daisies" by spike_1790 , a delicately-drawn and compassionate portrait of Dawn's "bad habit", tied as Winner with   "Stolen Screams" by Jane Davitt, a very original take on Angelus' torture of Giles through Spike's POV. "Le Petit Mort" by snogged , a hypnotic "prose-poem" about complicated connection between the First Slayer and an OC Slayer the First Evil, won Fan Fave in the Drabble category.

The entire winners list includes some of the finest writing and most accomplished writers in this fandom; Best Author alone reads like a Who's Who of Buffyverse writers.  Congratulations everybody!  (More hugs, cookies and cocoa!)  Special shout-out to folks on my flist, including( I'm afraid I'll miss somebody): snowpuppies , velvetwhip , beer_good_foamy , coalitiongirl , brutti_ma_buoni , aadler , naughtynyx88 , deird1, pickamix, quinara, lynnenne , angearia - and so on and so forth. Hugs, cookies, and hot cocoa with extra mashmallows for everybody!

2) More shameless self-pimpage: Speaking of angearia, her comments in 2maggie2 's episode analysis of "Ted" were the catalyst for my last post, the meta about the episode for the Jossverse Big Damn Love Fest (DW version, sans screencaps.) I'm dying to respond but I have to wait until tomorrow when I have the 'puter to myself all day.  I honestly wasn't sure about "putting myself out there" in that way - in fact, I was a bit terrified; I couldn't think of anyone I felt comfortable enough going to as a beta or even asking "Is this ok? Is it too personal? Am I going to create a shitstorm?" But the responses the post has gotten so far have been absolutely amazing. Thank you.  You've reminded me that sharing stories is important and necessary; that thinking we're alone and no one else could possibly understand is the part of The Lie that keeps us separated from one another and interferes with our self-acceptance (Hey, do I detect the theme of another Buffy meta here?)  You ROCK.  This fandom ROCKS, even when, like the Scoobies themselves, it drives me up one side the wall and down the other.

And it also confirms one simple fact: I LOVE Buffy Summers, even when (and maybe because) it's difficult for me to love myself - and I love her from the first moment we see her in SD to that final hard-won smile in the sunlight. NO FUCKING APOLOGIES.

I'm so pleased that you got the runner up title! I really tried to vote all the things that I enjoyed and I'm really happy for all the winning authors and for you, of course!
Thank you sweetie! *hugs* I know you voted for me so help yourself to more cookies! (Seriously I would give out some of my real homebaked spiced cocoa snickerdoodles if I could. You'll just have to imagine.)

Well, if you want to come in Italy for summer I can offer you delicious food for real!
Back at you! Your inclusion in the best author category is a no-brainer - and congrats on the meta win at the wicked awards! I just saw that list today.
I am tickled plaid for you, sweetheart!!!! And yes, you do deserve the win! You deserve it very much!

Tickled plaid? I don't think anyone's ever been tickled plaid for me before, I like that! Thanks hon, I'm still reeling over it. And congratulations to you too - you also won several awards at the wicked awards, didn't you? (that's a whole 'nother post I'll do tomorrow.)

Congrats also for "Fan Fave" for The Lonely Ones!
Glad you like my choice of patterns! You earned that win by writing a super little fic! Thank you!

The Lonely Ones is kind of dear to my heart, so I have to admit to being glad that it won.

That's always nice, isn't it, when you love the story?

I wish now that I'd remembered to nominate your S6 Willow/Riley story. That one is sad and angsty in all the right ways, and I'm particular about S6.
I'm trying to remember if I mentioned how I much I liked it to you, back when I first read it? *shakes head* Well, I do very much. That's why we write, isn't it? To be read - to be heard through our stories, to share ourselves and bear witness to one another. Awards and noms are just the whipped cream on the frosting on the layer cake.
I'm so excited for you, hun. It's a well deserved win.

As for my story, I appreciate your comments, but "Le Petit Mort" is about the complicated relationship between the First Slayer and the First Evil. :P
*Slaps forehead* And you told me that before and I forgot in the excitement of writing this, sorry.

Speaking of, I saw that the story won Best Drabble at the Wicked awards - way to go!
Oh hey I saw that Le Petit Mort won "Best Drabble" in the wicked awards! FAR OUT! (Um, I may be dating myself a bit there.)
Congratulations! You were indeed amongst some wonderful company and very deservedly so.
Congrats on the award, hon!

I'm so happy your meta's being so well-received. I actually went back and reread the old conversation on Maggie's journal and it was almost hard for me to engage. Debating that fiercely over such a sensitive subject, for personal reasons, well, it got my blood pumping just to reread it all. Of course, now having your meta as another voice in the conversation feels immensely gratifying as I've always felt like I was arguing an extreme position, even amongst Buffy stans.

Thank you so much, Emmie!

And in terms of meta especially I have so many examples to inspire me and demonstrate that fan writing can be almost anything: lyrical, intellectual, witty, analytical, emotional, etc. I'm building on the shoulders of giants.

I actually went back and reread the old conversation on Maggie's journal and it was almost hard for me to engage.

I think you know that conversation is what inspired me to write about Ted? And let me make it clear that Maggie's ep notes are generally a fantastic resource and I normally enjoy them greatly but that conversation, and one comment in particular, hurt - a lot. And I'm not wanting to reopen old wounds (so please do forgive me) but I wasn't around in 2010 to participate, but I can say my piece now, hopefully w/out giving insult. (??) Which is definitely not my intention, any more than yours, but I so much admire the way you stick to your guns and lay out the case clearly, repeating as often as needed, without becoming rude, nasty or insulting.

I'm not being clear in what I'm wanting to say (a bit tired right now, *bleh*); but, basically, you inspire me. Your passion and courage inspire me - a lot. (I've been shifting from "Don't talk about this, keep your mouth shut" to "It's my turn to go to bat for Buffy." I came into this fandom thinking to myself "What is my place here, do I even have a place?" I think I'm finding it now, finding my way to "be" here; these conversations we've been having, and writing this meta (and tons of notes for more), is crystallizing it in my head. "Why" I love and connect to Buffy and the Buffyverse is becoming very clear to me - the ah-hah moment.

Debating that fiercely over such a sensitive subject, for personal reasons, well, it got my blood pumping just to reread it all.

I felt much the same thing re-reading the comments on gabrielleabelle's journal for the episode on Monday (after I wrote my meta). I love a lot of things she has to say and have read some of her meta repeatedly, but the conversation after the episode poll - with the consensus that "Buffy crossed a line" etc - actually made my heart race, and that's no exaggeration. I felt - almost afraid, panicked. Bad old memories of not being "safe", not being believed. As if it were my experience, not Buffy's. (I guess that does make me a "Buffy stans", doesn't it?)

Of course, now having your meta as another voice in the conversation feels immensely gratifying as I've always felt like I was arguing an extreme position

Do you mean just on that episode or in general in this fandom? Because I've never found your views to be "extreme" even when I disagree with you. More lyrical, personal or emotional than some? Sure, that's part of your gift. Very partial to see things from Buffy's POV? Hell yes, but you never deny it.