Buffy Casablanca Poster poppy wreath  RS

If I write meta about writing meta - will the universe fold in on itself?

Today I was at the house all day attempting to clean up the mess after the fire, with no electricity, etc. Fun. I pulled out one of my rescued-from-the-chaos-but-still-damp notebooks and decided to transcribe it to a clean new notebook to pass the time (aka "procrastinating, with feeling"). Instead of transcription I found myself, 2-4 hours later (I didn't look at my phone and had no idea how much time passed) with a basic but workable "outline" for the Buffy & Tara friendship metas I've been wanting to write. I've got ideas by the truckful but I've always been perplexed as to how to organize the role Tara plays in btvs and specifically Buffy's story: episode by episode seemed logical to me; it worked for my meta on "Ted" to focus that way. Except my brain doesn't work that way. For instance, when I watch or think about "Who are You", I see nearly the entirety of S6 played out in miniature. I watched the B/S handfasting in Chosen and my mind leapt backward to W/T's handfasting in Hush. My mind delights in these sorts of connections, which partly explains my love for the tv show but it makes it damn difficult to organize my thoughts.  Today I was apparently lucky - time to myself (I busted ass afterwards cleaning, I promise you) and I started writing down Tara's various roles in the show. That allowed me to make those connections freely without the feeling of going "off track", as happens with a focus on a singular episode. (Although I could do an entire book of essays and fannish squee about "Who are You" alone and if I'm lucky I just might.)  whether or not I'll get time with the computer again to be able to shape and post this, I have no idea. Part of what's interesting to me about this is the fact that I didn't look at any of my notes scattered across five books, I just wrote, and the ideas were all there because I know them so well. That's something I can't do with the rough drafts of fics I've written; I can't recreate them from memory. The word order is so so very specific in fiction. And it doesn't matter if it's pretty close to "finished" (ie something to pass on to a beta or just post already, damn it) or if it's very rough scribbles in a notebook as with my meta notes today.  Which may be part of what makes fan fiction and non-fiction writing different experiences for me as a writer. But then again, if I had to totally reproduce a nearly-finished meta essay entirely from memory, would I be able to? Am I comparing apples with pomegranates?  I wonder if anyone else had had similar experiences especially if you've written in both fiction  and nonfiction? 
I am delighted you've salvaged meta out of this horrible mess. *hugs* How are you guys doing?


Gabrielle
Tired, still a little dazed? Her burns still hurt (not infected, good thing); we're probably going to camp out in our 2-room tent for a couple of days before an apartment on the property opens up. We haven't camped since our NH vacation! I haven't called mom, she hasn't called her sister. Sort of withdrawn.

Thanks so much for asking, sweetie. *big bear hugs*
Just take it easy. This is a traumatic event and you shouldn't expect too much of yourself. You and your lady need to worry about yourselves and let everything else sort itself out.


Gabrielle
Very good advice thank you! I can tell you my sweetie won't take it, but I think making myself a nice breakfast and just sitting down to write yesterday was my way of doing just that. (It's easier to do when I'm on my own.)

"You and your lady" - I LOVE that wording, so much. I'm going to use that in future. I don't know why it never occurred to me to do so before? It's nicer than "partner" or "significant other" (significant other WHAT?)
Thanks sweetie! I'm looking forward to it too (writing it, that is. Regular access to a puter is the issue right now.) I'm still sort of torn between wanting to focus on "roles" and wanting to go episode by episode. (The parallels between Buffy & Willow in WTTH / Tara & Willow in Hush? Verrry interesting stuff, to me at least.)
Ooh, very excited for the meta!

Heh, I don't write fic, but my problem is I write meta (well, a very rough draft) in my head and then I don't feel the need to type it out and post it. :( At least I make vids?

I'm so sorry about the fire! That is so scary and horrible. I think I missed your first post about it as I was not on LJ regularly, so hugs and condolences now. :(
And icons, don't forget! I really wish I could make videos - I'm always hearing songs that I think would be great, but I still tend to match lyrics with images in my head in a rather "on the nose" sort of way. *is envious*

Do you do commissions? I know some songs by Martina and the Diamonds that lanoyee pointed me to that are perfect for Buffy S6; and Monday before the fire I was listening to Beth Orten's "Stolen Car" for the zillionth time and it suddenly occurred to me how perfect it was mostly for Buffy and Spike (esp S7), or Buffy and all three of her lovers. (BTW, all that music was on iTunes on our desktop - that can't be recovered, can it? *sobs*)

You did link me to your vids already, did you not??

Re: meta I actually do much the same thing. I have notebooks - pages and pages as I've mentioned that could be posted and I don't; but then I do the same with fic. I think it's either a discipline thing, a confidence thing, or more likely both.

One thing I've noticed with fics (not meta) that I'm writing (long form, not in this fandom - yet) is that the minute I know in my mind how the story ends, I get bored and stop writing it.

And thanks muchly for the condolences! It was pretty terrifying at the time - I thought my sweetie had caught on fire from the way she was yelling at high pitch. (She was just panicked, thank goodness.)
Tara meta is of the good! Can't wait to read it.

Take care. *huggles*
I think a thematic or role based organization of Tara's place in the show sounds awesome. The only advantage to episode by episode I can think of is not missing anything, but I'm already interested in what Tara's roles are, whereas what the episodes are is not really a question. Just seeing how you organize it by roles already sounds insightful.

One thing I've noticed with fics (not meta) that I'm writing (long form, not in this fandom - yet) is that the minute I know in my mind how the story ends, I get bored and stop writing it.

I do this too. Except that there's a little window after I realize what's going to happen in the story where I still really want to write it, and then...I so often get stuck in the details and lose interest. Sometimes it feels like in planning I got ahead of the story, and am now trying to pull all those accumulated details along as I write, instead of moving freely forward. It can help if I set it aside for a while and let it fade from my mind just a little, and then come back to it. Sometimes I can get the interesting feel back that way, as I rediscover what I wanted to do (or do something slightly different).

Also, eek, fire. I feel weird saying anything because I think we've only talked once or twice before, but...sorry to hear about such a terrible thing, and glad you're recovering.
Thank you for the feedback! I think that plan should work fairly well. There (This is where I will bang the drum once again for the notion that betas and feedback can be just as helpful to nonfiction fanwriting as fiction. I did a post on that subject a couple of weeks back and the responses were interesting.)

I so often get stuck in the details and lose interest. Sometimes it feels like in planning I got ahead of the story, and am now trying to pull all those accumulated details along as I write, instead of moving freely forward.

Guilty as charged. *lol* And the longer I go on, the more details I add, or worse, I change my mind altogether as to which direction I want to go.

And thank you for the support re: the fire! We're better off than some folks who had a fire two days later - 20 people lost everything when an apartment burned. It'll be a long time cleaning etc. Lesson learned - save your external harddrive in a different location than your computer!